Every time my period comes it makes me ridiculously moody and insecure. Self-esteem is at an all-time low and all the flaws that I usually try my best to ignore just become glaringly obvious / making me feel like crap. Last night was pretty bad. I waited for G to fall asleep and lay in bed sobbing silently. I felt so awful about myself; like I wasn’t good enough for anything, or anyone. And being away from home made that even worse. I started to doubt all my decisions: What if I made a huge mistake and I’m really not cut out for this? What if I don’t fit in because of cultural barriers and a whole lot of other reasons? What if this relationship was not what I’d made it out to be? I was emotional, pessimistic, and homesick.
And all of a sudden, G hugged me from behind; ”Are you feeling okay baby? What’s wrong?” He’d been awake all this time. I had no idea he’d noticed that I’d been feeling moody (guys usually never sense these things). Despite it being 3am in the morning and him having to wake up early for work the next day (and also, it had been a really long day) he stayed awake to talk, cuddle and to make sure I was okay. I was so touched. He never fails to surprise me really. He has no idea how thankful I am to have him here with me.
via makemethehappiestgirl
Went to Ikea the other day to furniture-shop (really hope they reply us about our apartment soon). Going to Ikea always makes me happy for some weird reason. Went to shoot some hoops after with Luigi, Alan & Alisa. It was fun I really missed hanging out with all of them. Dinner after and Alisa made some Russian-style dumplings which were so good I need to learn how to make them as well.
This year was the first year I didn’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day with the mother )’: Told her to look for the letter & photo i’d hidden in my room before I left and asked dad to buy her her favourite durian pastries from Goodwood Park (I usually get them for her); that adorable man bought 20 pastries AND a durian cappuccino cake. I miss my family so much.
On a happier note I’m really looking forward to Wed. We’re gonna go for some drinks before watching The Dictator (looks like a really funny movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-2ZvIMKJHA) and then maybe partying at kjøkken&bar since Alan is playing that night (!!!) it’s been so long since I’ve partied. Thursday is gonna be really exciting as well, it’s Norway’s national day which means parades, celebrations, screaming Norwegians and lots of beer. Gonna be loads of fun I hope the weather holds up it’s been freezing the whole time I’ve been here. The wind is crazy.
Should be finally receiving my admission package this week. They actually already mailed it but it was sent back coz the name on the mailbox was G’s and not mine. I might be able to work as a research assistant at the university. I hope I get it. Would be nice to do something instead of staying home all day plus I need the cash; the standard of living is ridiculously high. I’ve also started to learn a bit of Norwegian it’s such a beautiful language.
And on a totally unrelated note I really like it that the toilet floor has internal heating. Also, the other day I saw a doe frolicking near the t-bane tracks it kept me entertained until the train came.
All checked. Maybe except for the last one I’m kinda hypersensitive to the L word.
via raindropsandsunspots
